i took a look in the "drafts" here on this blog - and there are a ton. and they are written by the most miserable version of me i have yet to meet.
i am not the same person. my freaking god!
i'm glad they are there though. i really am.
Monday, November 24, 2014
late february contamination
dear diary:
this day is bullshit.
i awoke to a broken heater. also, it was 0 degrees outside. for the third month in a row, basically. these raw temperatures start to grate on my nerves. like - yea, i went through the emotional phase. being all sad and shit. now i'm just angry. irritable.
the kids were cold when they woke up, so they were all teary about getting ready for school. jordan had a bloody nose, so his bed was covered in blood - obviously i had to strip the sheets. they were highly uncooperative, because, like their mother, they hate the cold. it makes them cry.
i got them off to school. i fought with my husband. i went to the gym.
i'm going to run out of xanax and i've yet to talk to my doctor. i'm just a couple day shy - it's not a huge deal, but you cannot ever go cold turkey off the shit. it'll fry your brain.
there is way more to this story. i won't bother.
i just need more xanax, man. i'm wearing a down vest in my house. i'm ready to cash in my chips. my mood couldn't be more volatile.
UPDATE: i found this old post in my drafts. if this isn't the Worst Post Ever, i don't know what is. this is absolutely disgusting. i'm so glad i no longer take Xanax. my god! now i'm laughing.
this day is bullshit.
i awoke to a broken heater. also, it was 0 degrees outside. for the third month in a row, basically. these raw temperatures start to grate on my nerves. like - yea, i went through the emotional phase. being all sad and shit. now i'm just angry. irritable.
the kids were cold when they woke up, so they were all teary about getting ready for school. jordan had a bloody nose, so his bed was covered in blood - obviously i had to strip the sheets. they were highly uncooperative, because, like their mother, they hate the cold. it makes them cry.
i got them off to school. i fought with my husband. i went to the gym.
i'm going to run out of xanax and i've yet to talk to my doctor. i'm just a couple day shy - it's not a huge deal, but you cannot ever go cold turkey off the shit. it'll fry your brain.
there is way more to this story. i won't bother.
i just need more xanax, man. i'm wearing a down vest in my house. i'm ready to cash in my chips. my mood couldn't be more volatile.
UPDATE: i found this old post in my drafts. if this isn't the Worst Post Ever, i don't know what is. this is absolutely disgusting. i'm so glad i no longer take Xanax. my god! now i'm laughing.
different personalities
and when the curtain opened,
oh shit, all of this snow is coming down -
but, when the drapes were pulled, that sound, you know it
one after the other, hands and arms working hard, smoothly
(well, maybe not that smoothly)
anyway,
i took a look around
wait, a second, now the snow is weaving over itself
see, i said Festival of Lights - why cannot today be perfect?
why cannot? can't.
you.
wait, so i ...
lost in reverb.
fucking echoes.
you telling me to shut up, more or less.
and then, i just, well. fuck, just close these sheaths of fabric, okay?
i have nothing to say to you.
oh shit, all of this snow is coming down -
but, when the drapes were pulled, that sound, you know it
one after the other, hands and arms working hard, smoothly
(well, maybe not that smoothly)
anyway,
i took a look around
wait, a second, now the snow is weaving over itself
see, i said Festival of Lights - why cannot today be perfect?
why cannot? can't.
you.
wait, so i ...
lost in reverb.
fucking echoes.
you telling me to shut up, more or less.
and then, i just, well. fuck, just close these sheaths of fabric, okay?
i have nothing to say to you.
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