from under ground

timid in roots
words grow up
tiny whispers
just fog in frost
nursed gentle to grow
come on, get stronger now

fat squirrels hop from branch to branch

winter is coming

hiding

everyone is in a different phase of life
i wonder if it's chemical or if it is real
am i really this empty inside?
i feel unsatisfied. i feel bored. i feel tired.
i feel lonely. i feel like nothing is good enough.

i feel like nothing hits the spot.

if i take pills, then i can't feel.
then i can just be. just exist.

i wish i would have never
i wish my heart would have just
stopped

wrapped

i slip in sticky sweet
when evening pulls down
slice myself undone again

and i write you calligraphy
ferocious, in a rocking chair
my nectar seeps silent, black

the cardinal finally falls quiet
and i lean into patience, blindness
shredding my letters just before dawn

maybe tomorrow,
probably not, dear

thank god

for this one.
the completely hidden one.
FUCK. i just wanted to say fuck fuck fuck.
this is bullfuckingshit.

that's all.